I started to think more and more often about my philosophical quest in sophomore year and the answer about happiness. Until COVID hit, and “the future” seemed more contrived of an idea than ever.įacing the many forms of grief in the beginning of quarantine life, I reverted to my default coping mechanisms and overcompensated for my losses by overworking myself, so that I could fake-feel some sense of control over life that is but an embryo and direction in a world that is but chaos.

Until the effect of delayed gratification started to wear off, and I only felt relief when I got back those A’s and internship offers instead of triumph. Until I realized that hard work doesn’t always prevail, perhaps beaten by harder work sometimes. And I was this tenet’s most fervent believer. I even sacrificed sleep, which I found is a determining factor for my happiness, to try to get into particular social groups, where hanging out with people felt more like homework than a pastime.īut it would all be worth it, right? After all, it is the preaching of Thomas Jefferson when he wrote those historical lines into the Constitution, the moral lesson of the classic American-Dream movie “The Pursuit of Happyness” and the value system that my Asian parents so ingrained in me ever since my youth - hard work shall always prevail. I was still doing it at Duke often, sacrificing my happiness to get those A’s in my double major and certificate, that internship at the most prestigious organization or this research position with the most renowned professor. I certainly sacrificed my happiness in the last two years of my high school to ensure that I was the best in everything I did, so that my parents would be prouder than any other parent in the room at my graduation, and I could bathe in the culminating satisfaction of achievement that gave a much better high than mundane, everyday happiness. I felt that I would sacrifice my happiness any day for many other things - family, glory, fame, a better world and - though it had been extremely difficult to admit this to myself, let alone here in my staff note that is to be released to the world - perhaps for money too.

Given the platform and opportunities we have available at our hand, how could one only think about one’s own happiness? It seemed very selfish and unambitious.

I was shocked by this response, outraged even. What was to me the most unremarkable answer at the time, but what was in fact the most remarkable according to my memory, was this: “I just want to be happy.” Make an impact in the lives of those around me and even beyond.” “I want to start my own company and continue to push the boundaries of human innovation.” “I want to be a useful person to society.

What is the pursuit of happiness